[2+2=5]

On Sunday morning, we woke to the news of the Orlando mass shooting at the nightclub called Pulse.  Watching the coverage was beyond sickening and left us with heavy, broken hearts. While on my run that morning, thoughts of the loved ones families reactions were non-stop. We will blink and the holidays will be here, which often makes pain feel even more gut-wrenching. The world is heartbroken. 

I finished my run and met up with C to grab lunch. As we walked into our apartment, my phone started ringing. We weren’t home for more than 10 seconds and I hadn’t even set my sunglasses and running stuff down yet. I stopped in the middle of the hallway and searched for my phone – it was my stepmom, Michelle on the other end. I guessed maybe she was calling to tell me dinner plans had changed for JoAnn’s birthday. As I answered her call, I remember feeling distracted by the multi-tasking of trying to put away my stuff while trying not to trip on the dog. When my ears heard the sentence, “We lost Tulip last night and she hasn’t been home in over 12 hours,” my body froze and I began to panic. Michelle started crying so hard that I couldn’t understand a word she spoke. We immediately grabbed the keys and drove up to their house, which is completely surrounded by open land brush – woods, trees, hawks, owls and coyotes. We searched for hours and found nothing. Their backyard was completely fenced and protected with metal mesh, which meant there was only one way for Tulip to escape; with assistance. Our thoughts are that she was taken by an owl, as we learned owls can easily grab prey up to 15 pounds. We were unable to locate Tulip and haven’t seen her since. Michelle is a wreck and our family is heartbroken. 

These two tragedies happened the same night. The impact of their heartbreak is intense. As I watched the shooting TV coverage and searched for our dog; I literally could not make sense of these events in my head. My brain (and heart) kept asking:

Why? How? What lessons are these tragedies supposed to teach us? WHY? This hurts..

I didn’t sleep much last night and was practically a zombie Monday at work. (And that’s MY sadness – complete strangers and Michelle have it much worse). Life does not make sense right now. I am still trying to find a reason as to why these events had to happen. TRYING to understand is an understatement. These situations do not add up correctly. Math has always been a struggle – and yet here is another equation I can’t solve.

Here’s to healing during heartbreak xo

[gemeni weekend]


This past weekend was filled with several birthdays. We celebrated my step-dad (6/7), mom (6/11), Teylor (6/13) and JoAnn (6/6). I even have another girlfriend Angie who celebrates her bday on (6/18).
 
Friday at lunch we went to buy Father’s Day cards and also grabbed smoothies 🙂 Thankfully, we stayed home Friday night and relaxed with Netflix and dinner. We crawled into bed with a little light left in the sky at 7:45pm for a movie. Homebodies, indeed.
 
[lunch smoothies 6.10.16]
 
Saturday was cloudy all day long 🙂 It was my moms birthday, too. After I ran and C got a haircut, we went to have brunch at my mom’s house. It was relaxing, casual and the best day celebrating her.

[Saturday morning run views 6.11.16]

[Saturday morning run views 6.11.16 continued]

[my purple + mama’s pink nikes]
 
Saturday night, we went to The Avant with Teylor and Ryan to celebrate Teylor’s birthday, which is today! Happy Bday T! 😉
 
The Avant was a gorgeous restaurant at the RB Inn. I had halibut and C had filet. The food was out of this world delicious. That paired with great company made for a pleasant evening.

[dinner at The Avant Saturday night]
 
Sunday morning I got further in my book The Silent Wife. It’s truly a messed up story, but it holds my attention. I’m hoping to finish it this week. C made a delicious breakfast (eggs, bacon, toast, CrOJ) in which we inhaled before he went to the gym and I went on a run. Later that night, we went out to dinner to celebrate JoAnn’s birthday, which was last Monday. This weekend had lots of happiness and smiles, but it also included intense heartache, which I will blog about tomorrow 😦
 
Here’s to a productive work week! xo

[91]

As a SUPER fan of cold months, ‘May-gray’ and ‘June-gloom,’ I find myself bummed at today’s 91 degree heat and bright sun. The majority of the world’s population glorifies San Diego and the warm weather this city offers.
 
Not me!!! Why does it have to be THIS hot? Walking outside & instantly feeling like I’m wrapped tightly in an electric blanket is not at all enjoyable in my opinion. Having sweat drip from my butt cheeks down my thighs is pure torture!
 
So here’s my question: 
 
What do you do when you live in a famous city yet can’t stand the weather where all your family and friends live?
 
SIDE NOTE:
(Sounding like a spoiled brat is not my intent, yet I realize I may be coming off as ‘ungrateful for having the privilege to live in San Diego’. This post is yet another reason why this blog is 100% honest vs. pretending life is perfect and wonderful. I will openly blog about my happy experiences and put smiley faces when they were/are truly just that; happy! But on the flip side, if I’m in a crabby mood I’m going to be honest about it.) 
 
 Avoiding hot temps and bright lights haven’t always been a big part of who I am; but it is now. In high school and college I would bend over backwards to lounge by the pool and work on my tan. I loved ‘baking’ in the sun, listening to music and swimming in the refreshingly cold pool.
 
Flash forward to last summer with record breaking temperatures where I found myself with debilitating migraines triggered by the sun and/or heat. From July through November, most of our weekends were spent inside our home with the A/C blasting. Leaving the house just to grab lunch was so uncomfortable it made me feel ill. Colby was of course understanding, supportive and uplifting as he respects my struggle with sensitivity to extreme heat.
 
With Summer practically here, I am crossing my fingers I can be stronger in the upcoming months. We’ve discussed moving to Seattle in the future in hopes to find cooler temps. But then there’s the fact that I’d be leaving my family, friends and job. I’m just not ready to make that big of a decision yet.
 
In the interim, you better believe I am already counting down until Christmas time 🙂
 
Happy Friday!
xxCourtney

[gratitude]

Gratitude Entry 6/2/2016
1. My job
Working each day gives me a feeling of self worth, accomplishment and purpose. I am incredibly thankful and happy to work with my family. Helping our clients save money on their property taxes was a brilliant idea (kudos, Dad!). Driving home each night after a productive day at the office is a nice feeling 🙂
2. My health
When you have good health, you have the world. I’ve been incredibly lucky thus far with only minor colds in my life. I’ve been sick-free since April 2015. (Migraines not included lol).
3. My chiropractor
We’ve been family friends with our chiropractor since I was 14. He is a miracle worker and has helped several of our family and friends with back/neck pain. I visit him weekly for adjustments and know these visits have helped decrease migraines.
REALLY making an effort to get daily entries/gratitude journaling in 🙂
xx-cmm

[welcome June]

June 1st, 2016.
 
How did THAT happen?
 
I swear we were all at El Comal celebrating New Years Eve just 5 minutes ago…I have the pic to prove it!
 
[12.31.2015]
 
The thought of turning 30 next month doesn’t bother me – its just a number as I truthfully feel a lot older. What freaks me out is how fast time is zipping by us. Our weeks feel like a blink while weekends are here and gone even faster.
 
It seems time races by when we are busy. I have to admit; my life with Colby is pure happiness. I’m not going to say our life is perfect because its not. We have our struggles, rough days and ‘blah’ moods. We are human. However, we are so flipping happy together. Having him in my life has been the sweetest gift; we are truly blessed.
 
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my past; that’s for sure. The consequences of my mistakes were painful and I was left thinking I didn’t deserve happiness. But I did! An important fact of life I’ve grown to learn is no matter who we are or what mistakes we’ve made; we are still deserving of love. I am beyond grateful for every crappy event because it led me to where I am today.
 
Our lives (lately) have been fun, chaotic, exhausting and happy 🙂 I just chuckled at my choice of words being ‘chaotic’ and ‘exhausting’ since we don’t have kids lol.
 
Last Tuesday I snapped this picture during my run – so pretty! This pic was taken on Ted Williams Parkway around 5:30p.
 
C and I at El Comal on Friday night 🙂  
 
5/29/16: Above the clouds (literally) in Big Bear.
 
Beneath these clouds was dark, rainy and cold.
Above was bright, dry, sunny and hot.
Go figure! 
 
 
Big Bear trees 

 Today is National Running Day! We worked out the past 2 nights in a row. And my body is really sore 😦 But I’m going to force myself to jog tonight; at least a little. I’m not planning to run the entire route, but its better than doing nothing. Falling asleep right now could be accomplished in less than 5 minutes. Wish us luck tonight 😉
xx cmm